But, I Have Crohn’s Disease

It has recently come to my attention that perhaps I use the “I have a chronic illness” excuse too often.

Let’s be clear: I think I use it the exact right amount for someone with a petulant large intestine. But, some people disagree. And by ‘people,’ I mean my sister, because she is the #1 recipient of the BIHCDS (But, I have Crohn’s Disease Strategy).

I’ll give you some classic examples, and you can decide if I’m using the BIHCDS effectively.

Example One:

One lonely cookie sits on a plate. It belongs to my sister. I have eaten all of the rest. She reaches for it–

Me: But, I have Crohn’s Disease.

Example Two:

Me: *discreetly slides the Frozen soundtrack into the CD player*

Sister: NO! NO! NO! If I have to listen to ‘Frolaf’ sing about summer ONE MORE TIME–

Me: But, I have Crohn’s Disease.

Frolaf. (Photo credit: http://ow.ly/PRE0k)
Frolaf. (Photo credit: http://ow.ly/PRE0k)

Example Three:

Sister: Water the hibiscus. It looks like a shriveled old man.

Me: But, I have Crohn’s Disease.

Example Four:

Sister: DID YOU JUST TAKE A DUMP IN THE BATHROOM WHEN YOU KNEW I WAS GOING TO SHOWER? NOTHING IS WORSE THAN HUMID POO STINK.

Me: But, I have Crohn’s Disease.

Example Five:

Sister: Aren’t you supposed to be writing your Monday blog post? Why are you sitting on the couch staring into space with your fist in a peanut butter jar? Look at your life.

Me: But, I have Crohn’s Disease.

So, what do you think? Too much? Or just the right amount?

X

RG

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16 thoughts on “But, I Have Crohn’s Disease

  1. Hilarious. I think it’s hard to accurately judge with whether it us too much or too little. I’m riding the fence on this one. Why? Wait for it…
    Because I Don’t Have Crohn’s Disease. Fist in the peanut butter jar, priceless.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have teamed up with some awesome people who struggle with Crohns as well to bring a community together for resources and how certain products have worked. Also it will be a great place to share your story and bring more awareness to the condition. My blog is wordpress.glorifiedguts.com and our facebook page is healthy gut. Check it out!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well….perhaps you fall back on the excuse just a bit. However, not ALL the time. For instance – example #4 – when you have Crohn’s Disease and you have to take a dump – you just have to take a dump! Shower or no! Dump on, sister!

    Liked by 1 person

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